THE MORNING AFTER: Chris, Tomas & Friends' Guide to Breakfast in Toronto

2008-12-15T18:23:00.001-08:00

COOL HAND OF A GIRL
(2804 Dundas St. W.)

HANK AND MIKE v2.0: Chris & Tomas

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4+
PRICE: 2
SERVICE: 2+
AMBIANCE: 3+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: YES
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: NO
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: NO
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

As the world enters what many view as the worst economic crisis since The Great Depression, many contributing factors are beginning to interfere with the daily grind of those from every walk of life. Economic turmoil is resulting in large layoffs, cutbacks and market volatility as well as rapid fluctuations in fuel prices and the cost of staple products and services. Foreclosure and unemployment rates are increasing nationally at an alarming rate and the credit crunch is effecting millions. Worst of all, however, our current economic slump seems to be affecting one of my favorite past times: ALL-DAY BREAKFAST! Aside from our being broke, many independently owned and operated restaurants and cafés are dropping like flies which in turn sent Tomas and I on a wild goose chase from Bloor West Village, throughout Etobicoke, full circle to The Junction before we could finally find a decent place to catch up over a couple of eggs and a cup of joe.

All-Day Breakfast:
2 scrambled free-range eggs
organic multi-grain toast
coleslaw or roast potatoes
$7.75+tx.
Add:
spicy chicken sausage (1.99)
toast (.99/ slice)
1/2 avocado (2.50)
chevre (1.99)
toasted almonds (1.50)
braised tofu (1.99)
chicken (2.50)
organic jam, peanut butter or honey (.50)

THE FOOD: Unlike most breakfast joints, Cool Hand Of A Girl's fare doesn't leave you feeling guilty for having gone out for breakfast in the first place. Not for the hungover in need of aid; the portions are more fulfilling than filling, leaving you feeling content rather than crammed. The scrambled free-range eggs are done to perfection. The potatoes, lightly seasoned, are complimented wonderfully by the homemade tomato-based hot sauce. The organic multi-grain toast was crunchy and wholesome. The curry/honey mustard coleslaw with it's toasted pumpkin seeds was a nice change of pace and the spicy chicken sausage left me wondering where I could buy a few links.

THE PRICE: If the food wasn't so healthy and didn't leave you feeling so goddamn great, it'd be much harder to justify spending over $15 on such humble portions. Not a place to frequent if you're on a budget, but if the recession isn't hitting you too hard yet and you can still afford to drop good coin on a good breakfast you'll be left feeling...good.

THE SERVICE: Minimal yet attentive. We ordered at the cash off a large blackboard and weren't checked in on at any point, however, what contact we did have with our server and the assumed owner was quite pleasant.

THE AMBIANCE: An unexpected establishment in a fairly wild and woolly neighborhood, Cool Hand Of A Girl is a pretty standard kitschy café in the same camp as the original Mitzi's, Aunties and Uncles, Yasi's Place and Saving Grace. With it's mix-matched retro furniture and walls adorned with local art it's nothing we haven't seen before but always a welcome addition to the mix. On a side-note, if it's good enough for Hank and Mike it's good enough for me.

Where most places try to reel in canvas bag toting wannabe-conscious eco-chic douchebags with trendy catchphrases like organic, fat-free, free-range and fair trade; Cool Hand sells the sizzle not the steak. In a partially-gentrified, low income neighborhood like The Junction, these catchphrases come across as being much more genuine than they might in Yorkville or Forest Hill for example. All in all, Cool Hand Of A Girl is definitely worth checking out if you find yourself famished and fancy some food to facilitate feeling in fine feather. (Fuckin' eh.)

2008-12-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

WE'RE BACK...
We know. It's been 9 months sans update. We shit the bed.
We will however make a point to be back more often from here on in to keep you in the loop with all things greasy as often as conditions permit. Also, if I can find my physical notes, I'll finally get around to writing up Queen Star and Stem as I intended to last March. On a side-note, we won't be updating quite as often as in the past; seeing as we've found our new religiously regular joint hindering us from making the rounds as often as we once did. On that note, check out the official Church of Chops website, brought to you by the Porch Chops; hosting weekly hymns and an invitation to our weekly club meeting at the raddest Sunday breakfast in town: Bluegrass Brunch at The Dakota Tavern.

2008-03-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

QUEEN STAR RESTAURANT
(1116 Queen St. W.)

THE QUEEN WEST QUIPSTERS: Chris Paul & Michelle

RATINGS:
FOOD:
PRICE:
SERVICE:
AMBIANCE:

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: YES & NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

Coming Soon...

BREAKFAST SPECIAL:
4 eggs
bacon, ham or sausage
homefries
toast
coffee
$4.95+tx. ($5.95 after 11:30)

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
bacon, ham or sausage
homefries
toast
$3.95+tx.

THE FOOD: ...

THE PRICE: ...

THE SERVICE: ...

THE AMBIANCE: ...

Coming Soon...

2008-03-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

STEM OPEN KITCHEN (354 Queen St. W.)

THE HOSTS WITH THE MOSTS Chris & Kevin

RATINGS:
FOOD:
PRICE:
SERVICE:
AMBIANCE:

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

Coming Soon...

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
3 eggs
bacon, ham or sausage
homefries
toast
$5.75+tx.

THE FOOD: ...

THE PRICE: ...

THE SERVICE: ...

THE AMBIANCE: ...

Coming Soon...

2008-03-06T15:56:00.000-08:00

NEWELL'S CAFÉ (784 Queen St. E.)

THE DEAD RINGERS: Chris & Tomas

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4
PRICE: 4+
SERVICE: 4
AMBIANCE: 4+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: YES
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

What do you get when you combine a slew of beggared drunks, $11 pitchers of beer, a toothless hooker and Burton Cummings on the jukebox? Character; that's what. Although Newell's Café, found on Queen East, just down the street from the famous Jilly's in Toronto's charmingly slummy Queen Broadview Village may seem a little sketchy at first glance, the food is sublime and the clientele are eclectic to say the very least.

NEWELL'S COMBINATION BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
bacon
sausage
ham
homefries
toast
$4.75+tx.

THE FOOD: As the age old proverb goes, "You can't judge a book by it's cover"; and that's the best way I can think of to describe this truly questionable hole in the wall. From both the inside and out, Newell's seems pretty crude; but given the chance, ol' Franky on the griddle is like the Jesus of breakfast, performing miracles with every broken eggshell. For a mere $4.75 (a .50 cent upgrade from the standard eggs n' bakey), one can order up the greasiest miracle of them all; Newell's Combination Breakfast. A bottomless cuppa coffee, two slices of perfectly fried bacon, two tasty sausages, two pieces of thinly sliced ham (which I initially mistook for fried bologna), two eggs, two slices of toast and a heaping pile of simple yet sapid hashbrowns.

THE PRICE: The best priced all-day breakfast in town. With $11 pitchers and a $4.25 breakfast including coffee, how they even make a profit here is beyond me.

THE SERVICE: And it goes a little something like this...

Drunkard: "Franky! You ever get a call from a phone number that said 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0? It said...1 million."
Drunkard's Girlfriend: "No! It said 1 million and 1 stupid! I think it was the creditors!"
Drunkard: But we don't have credit...
Franky: ... (*blank faced and confused*)
Old guy: You guys want some more coffee?"

But yeah...not as funny to read as it was to witness story aside, the service was pretty damn good. Although Franky seems to have the relative IQ of a deckchair, he's good at what he does and the other old chap is quicktime on the coffees and making sure the jukebox keeps bumpin' the ol' country jams. Kudos.

THE AMBIANCE: Approaching Newell's Café, Tomas and I were kindly greeted by a half-crocked native girl letting us know how great the food was inside. Impressed with the courtesy, we strolled inside and out of the clear blue sky came the belting voice of a young Mick Jones, singing in my head an appropriate Should I Stay or Should I Go?. Looking at Tomas, I could see he was thinking the same thing. I don't quite recall who made the first move, but before I knew it we were seated at a long and disheveled diner style bar with menus and coffees in front of us. A good part of Newell's charm can be attributed to the mish-mash of makeshift shelves, faux wood panelling, dirty old wallpaper, 70's bar paraphernalia and photos of 50's icons. Oh, and it smelled like Horseshoe Camp. I miss Horseshoe. Horseshoe Camp Trivia: Cher and and one of her mother's early husbands used to travel up to Horseshoe (a family owned bush camp north of Spanish, ON, only accessible by snowmobile) in the 50's and my great grandpa used to take her ice-fishing. Now you know.

Put simply; Newell's Café is not for the tight-laced and we like it that way. If you're on the east end, craving the greasiest of spoons and don't get squeamish around a rowdy bunch of derelicts with barely enough teeth in the whole joint to form a full set, then you're our kind of people and Newell's Café might just be your kind of place.

2008-02-23T15:27:00.000-08:00

LAKEVIEW LUNCH (1132 Dundas St. W.)

THE WRECKING CREW: Chris, Paul & Lonero

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4
PRICE: 4
SERVICE: 3
AMBIANCE: 4

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: YES
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

It goes like this. If I had to suggest two things for you to experience that would be so satisfying you'd undoubtedly feel the need to tell everybody and your facebook list; something I would bet both my cats and Tomas' TV (maybe just Tomas' TV) on; they would be as follows:
A) Double Tasking 101: Before a night of shittin' gettered, grab an ice cold 6-pack out the fridge (tall cans if you fancy yourself a beast) and jump in the shower. Not only will you tidy yourself up nicely for the ladies or lads, but it'll be the most refreshing pre-drink you've ever experienced.
Bonus: If you can polish 'em off before your toes wrinkle, +25 Stamina as everybody's favorite Rogue, Lonero might say. (Disclaimer: Shave or take care of anything particularly technical beforehand for obvious reasons.)
B) Grab breakfast at the very same place Rocco popped the two wannabe goodfellas and a bartender in The Boondock Saints. Lakeview Lunch, believe it or not, isn't on Beacon Hill; but rather at the corner of Dundas and Ossington in Toronto's colourful Portugal Village. Eat lunch there too. And grab a drink later on. And then breakfast again the next day.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
bacon
hashbrowns
baked beans
toast
coffee
$6.95+tx.
Sub:
Peameal (.55)
Virginia Ham (.55)
Spicy Sausage ($1)

THE FOOD: Paul was initially hesitant when Lakeview's name came up seeing as he's had a not so badass breakfast experience there in the past. On this particular occasion however, it took him no more than two bites to withdraw any negative comments he may have been saving up. Everything on my plate was rad squared. I went with the egg bread. Duder called it something else that I can't quite recall at the moment. I'm not a fucking bread expert. The eggs were eggs; plain and simple, no squiggles, just eggs. The homefries were sliced like big fat potato chips and although I'm not a huge deep-fried potato fan, they just seemed to work. The bacon was the highlight; thickly sliced and including the leanest rasher I've ever seen in all my years of breakfast consumption. Seriously though, there wasn't even the faintest hint of fat. I'd never seen anything like it. Outside of the breakfast tip, Lonero and his "All Cock Diet" appropriately ordered the Mango Jerk Burger. He said it was scrumptious in a really questionable voice. (Probably not, but I can totally picture it.)
Paul Side-Note: The apple juice was way too tart and bordering on cider. (It needed sugar and water just to get it to a drinkable state.)
Chris Side-Note: Everybody had their own bottle of HP!
Chris Side-Note v2.0 I really wish I wouldn't have fucked up my camera phone settings and taken the photos at 220x176. The shitty shots don't do this grub justice.

THE PRICE: The price was $6.95. It came with coffee. I couldn't complain.

THE SERVICE: The service was top shelf. Dude was funny and on the ball until it was time for the bill, but everybody gets 1 get out of jail free card. We ordered up some waters and when they came around, Lonero and I each got a big fat pint whereas Paul was given a tiny little toddler glass. Needless to say, it was fucking hilarious. Paul: "Are you trying to punk me?!" Other than that, the guy was nothing less than helpful and humorous every step along the way. Word to his moms, he came and dropped...eggs, he had more jokes than a spiders got legs.

THE AMBIANCE: While half of the places littered across this fair city of ours are trying their damnedest to hit you in the nostalgia bone with their tawdry decors, booth seating and the like, Lakeview Lunch is clearly not one of them. I'm not saying it doesn't have all of that and then some. The difference here is it isn't going out of it's way to; it's just been that way for 60 years. Comfy leather booths, a lonnng-ass bar, Art Deco detailing and old Hollywood movie posters all add to the nostalgia factor that most places strive for without trying 1/61st as hard (Does that make sense?). The menu is jokes with it's istockphoto.com watermarked images and "gay pride banner" headers, but that would be my only vice. Shit. I'd redesign them for free if only to make the place that much better.

Lakeview Lunch, bought and restored in the mid-90's by Ken Sprackman of the Horseshoe Tavern fame (which didn't surprise me at all looking at the place) and under new management in recent years ignores all the fads that are quickly cluttering Toronto's breakfast world. A honest to goodness diner that sticks to what it knows which is sticking to your ribs. Ignore all the shit reviews you'll find on the internets; those guys are whiney bitches.

2008-02-17T14:34:00.000-08:00

SKYLINE RESTAURANT
(1426 Queen St. W.)

THE HUNTING PARTY: Chris, Missy, Paul & Gira

RATINGS:
FOOD: 2+
PRICE: 2 (all day) / 3+ (special)
SERVICE: 2+
AMBIANCE: 4

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES (special until 11am)
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: YES
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: NO
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

What's in a name? Where I come from, a place with a name like Skyline Restaurant is generally accompanied by nothing less than, you guessed it, a beautiful skyline. As far as Toronto is concerned, however, this seems to be far from the case. The only view you'll find looking out from Skyline Restaurant is the beautiful Queen West strip of Parkdale, hobos wearing sombreros and all. Skyline Restaurant's name is almost as ironic as Lakeview Lunch (1132 Dundas St. W.); situated no less than 3 kms from anything even resembling a lake view. If anything, I'm thinking they should trade names. Lakeview Lunch at the very least has a view of the CN Tower and Skyline Restaurant makes you feel as though you're eating in the dining room of an old cruise ship. Then again, some people tell me I tend to be a tad too literal.

ALL DAY BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
bacon or ham
potatoes (mashed, boiled or french fries)
toast
$6.75+tx.

BREAKFAST SPECIAL: (until 11am)
2 eggs
bacon or ham
homefries
toast
coffee
$5.25+tx.

THE FOOD: At Skyline Restaurant, lunch + eggs = breakfast; or as Paul aptly put it "The eggs are the only ones keepin' it real." Eggs aside, breakfast consisted of a side of fries, two slices of toast, bacon, lettuce and tomato (*cough* BLT). All in all, Skyline's All Day Breakfast was nothing special and if anything I'd suggest hitting them up before 11, when they serve up something more closely resembling a traditional breakfast at a muuuch better price (seeing as coffee is included). On that note; refills are not free all day, yet there is a loophole! Only drink half a cup at a time before getting it topped off. It's only considered a refill if it's being filled bottom up. ;)
Gira 'The Sausage Hunter' Side-Note: The sausages taste like delicious!
Paul Side-Note: The eggs are doing that boogery shit!
Chris Side-Note: Squiggles!
Gira 'The Sausage Hunter' Side-Note v 2.0: Who do you work for lettuce?!!

THE PRICE: The all day price was pretty average; however lack of freefills and not having homefries as a potato option made the price seem a touch too hefty for what it was worth. Not really a place worth grabbing breakfast unless it's before 11; which in most of our cases sounds like a blasphemy on the weekend.

THE SERVICE: The service started on a much higher note than it ended. Our server seemed quick and courteous from the get-go; waters in hand before we sat down, asking if we wanted separate bills and the like. As breakfast progressed, however, I felt she seemed to develop a bit of an attitude and didn't come across as being nearly as nice as she did when we walked in the door.
Everybody Side-Note: CASH ONLY. All four of us took turns getting kicked in the balls (or baby makers) by the $2 ATM service charge at the store across the street.

THE AMBIANCE: The ambiance is, in all honesty, the only thing that would ever bring me back to this place for breakfast. The restaurant is laid out in "reverse mullet" fashion with a traditional diner in the front and fine dining in the back. Throughout, you get the feeling like you're eating in the dining room of an old cruise ship and if you sway back and forth the effect is enhanced tenfold (Disclaimer: people will look at you like you're a fuckin' nut-job). We opted for the large and enclosed, more private, two tabled booth in the middle of the restaurant which ended up encompassing the best of both worlds and was bar none the best seat in the house. Along with the booth came a plethora of toys (other than the colouring book and markers Missy carried around with her over the weekend). The toys included everything from Barbie and Predator to a tiny indian wielding a spear (who from what we could tell was after our bacon the little fucker).
The lighting was dim; the music was classical and the seats were some of the comfiest on which I've ever rested my loins. Hands down the best (and quite possibly the only) good thing about our visit.
Paul Side-Note: Everything was going great until the local miniature natives showed up!

Mimi's no longer exists. I hadn't been there in a couple of years. It closed like 4 months ago. Thanks for letting us know before we walked our asses over in the rain and kicked around crack pipes (literally) out front waiting for Paul to show up, only to have to go elsewhere. Elsewhere ended up being Skyline Restaurant. Skyline Restaurant is par at best. I miss Mimi. :(

2008-02-09T12:38:00.000-08:00

GLADSTONE HOTEL (1214 Queen St. W.)
gladstonehotel.com

THE CHAPFALLEN TRIO: Chris, Paul & Michelle

RATINGS:
FOOD: 1+
PRICE: 1
SERVICE: 1+
AMBIANCE: 3+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: NO (sat & sun, 8am-4pm)
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

After swimming the night away in a pool of PBR (almost literally at some points), nothing seemed better the following morning than the idea of a big greasy breakfast. On this particular day, however, at the Gladstone Hotel, nothing could have been more disappointing. The Gladstone, located in Parkdale at the corner of Gladstone and Queen, is a unique urban hotel providing both travelers and Torontonians with a truly authentic experience of the local creative culture.
(...and a shitty breakfast.)

~~NITTY GRITTY~~ SHITTY SHITTY BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
grilled peameal or strip bacon
baked beans
homefries
whole wheat toast
$9.95+tx.

BREAKFAST & BRUNCH MENU

THE FOOD: Shockingly small, disgustingly dry, outrageousely bland and shamelessly half-assed. (Not to be too harsh.) I would honestly be embarrassed to serve this filth to that lady with the mustache down on Queen that always asks if you can "Spaaare a quaaarter?" all loud and drawn-out like and on more than one occasion has asked me if i've "Got a banaaanaaa?" (What???). The Nitty Gritty Breakfast = One slice of dry unbuttered toast, 2 slices of dry crumbly deep-fried bacon, a couple of burnt homefries, 2 slimy half-fried eggs & a dry brown paste that's supposedly beans. The only things that were even remotely appetizing were the coffee and the strawberry earning the food a 1; and the HP Sauce was kept chilled, gaining it the +.
Michelle Side-Note: Their dinner is good at least. Try the grilled cheese.

THE PRICE: Highway. Fucking. Robbery. Unreasonably overpriced and in the end, the worst bang for your buck (or 16 bucks for that matter) in the history of The Morning After. At more than $15 dollars each, it was a price I would expect from The Drake, maybe, but was both appalled and disappointed to see coming from the Gladstone.

THE SERVICE: Laggard, lazy, slothful, slow and sluggish. The service was honestly shit for lack of a better word. We waited a solid 10 minutes before we were approached for our drink order, after which our coffees took another 10 minutes to even arrive. As Paul stated, "Call me old fashioned, but I should really have a coffee by now". We had to ask multiple times for water. Agua?! We weren't approached at any point during the meal to see how things were; we couldn't even get the attention of the server for that matter and we weren't offered refills until well after we had finished eating. All in all, I wish I was more of an asshole (even though I was called one twice yesterday), seeing as a tip was left even though there was nothing done at at any point during our visit that came even close to being deserving of one. My opinion on the matter; if you're gonna work for tips, work for tips.

THE AMBIANCE: The ambiance alone was the only piece of the puzzle deserving of a rating higher than 1+. As anyone hip to the the scene knows, the Gladstone is a pretty decent place to spend an evening and the vibe, although noteably different, is equally as swell the following morning. The Gladstone offers up two very contrasting environments in which to (attempt to) enjoy your breakfast. To the left when entering is the Ballroom Café; a smaller, quaint little café with tall victorian windows and exposed brick walls. To the right of the entrance you'll find the Melody Bar; a larger, more open concept tavern of sorts (which we opted for) adorned with Alabaster lamps, a long wood bar and faux marble pillars. A relaxing bar, as Michelle stated, you feel like you're eating breakfast in small town Northern Ontario (minus the small town courtesy). 10' ceilings, "good ol' tavern chairs" and a wide variety of century old architectural attributes. We sat up on the stage (generally home to karaoke singers and local bands), which was hands down the best seat in the house and the only true complaint I had regarding the ambiance was that the music was just downright unpleasant (from Coldplay to The Village People).
Chris Side-Note: Their menus are well designed.
Michelle Side-Note: They misspelt Hollandaise.
Paul (completely unrelated) Side-Note: Check out Kitlers!

The Gladstone Hotel, although a prime location for live music, karaoke and a few too many pints is a far cry from a prime breakfast location. If you're in the area and get a hankerin' for some bacon and eggs, rather than wasting your time and money at the Gladstone, head directly across the street to Country Site Café (1181 Queen St. W.). Sure the place is a ghetto knock-off of Country Style, but their breakfast bagels are fucking spectacular and are around 1/5 the cost of the excrement in breaky's clothing they serve up at the Gladstone.

2008-02-08T08:03:00.001-08:00

CORA'S BREAKFAST & LUNCH
(277 Wellington St. W.)
chezcora.com

THE ROCK N' ROLL PORNOGRAPHERS: Chris & Kevin

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3+
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 4
AMBIANCE: 1

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

What do you do when your winter is well on it's way to becoming one of discontent, it's a wednesday afternoon with jack shit to do at work and the only sensible thoughts to cross your mind are in the form of bacon and eggs? Call up Kevin, roll on down to Cora's Breakfast & Lunch, steps from the corner of Wellington and Blue Jays Way and discuss dirty birds and sea turtles, how incredibly lame Tattoo Rock Parlour is, possible techniques for shooting the knees out of your jeans with a shotgun, the night of inevitable debauchery that lies ahead and how shitty the Blackberry Pearl's camera is. (Note the photos in question; however it may have been the sheer paleness of Kevin's skin that blinded the lens.)

BACON N' EGGS:
2 eggs
bacon or sausage
toast
hash browns
$5.65+tx.
Add:
sausage (1.50)

THE FOOD: Cora's food was better than five vicodin, a cold beer and a hot shower. I broke my strictly bacon and eggs rule this time around and opted for a few bangers. Good bacon. Good hashbrowns. Good marble rye. Shitty coffee. Good eggs. I'm out.
Kevin Side-Note: Their sausages suck. They're fuckin' soggy. Fuck.
Chris Side-Note: They have Molson Dry!

THE PRICE: I've written something quasi clever (or so I tell myself) for this exact same price range approximately 9 times over (approximately). Go read one of those. I'm not a fucking Z6000 Writing Robot programmed to expel witty quips at the push of a button. Jeez.

THE SERVICE: As the pop princess and ever articulate Avril Lavigne once said (aside from "I'm with a sk8er boi, I said see ya later boy"), "Fa fa fa, fast fast fast fast". Cora's service was not only that on this particular day, but the server was on the ball from sitting down to settling up. Quick with the drinks. Quick with the grub. Quick with the refills. All with a smile. Word to his moms.

THE AMBIANCE: Vomiting (also called throwing up or emesis) is the forceful expulsion of the contents of one's stomach through the mouth and sometimes the nose. Vomiting may result from many causes, ranging from gastritis or poisoning to elevated intracranial pressure or Cora's interior decor. A mishmash of what I'd call country kitchen, daycare and french design (the Québécois kind...not the good kind). Cora's is far from easy on the eyes or très tocard as they might say in it's city of origin.
Kevin Side-Note: It's alot nicer in the summer when the garage doors open.

Seeing as the francophone population aren't particularly known for their design sense as much as they are their taste in food, it's not hard to believe this place originated in La Belle Province. However being a wretched eyesore, the food and service amply make up for the fact that you'll want to gouge your eyes out with your stirring spoon. My advice; wait till the summer, sit on the patio and cut out the interior decor completely.

2008-02-03T17:31:00.000-08:00

THE MORNING AFTER: ON THE ROAD EDITION
JAK'S DINER
(1100 Barrydowne Rd. ∙ Sudbury, ON)

THE NORTHERNERS: Chris, Missy, Adam, Amelie, Lionel, Brock, Phil, Geno, Peggy & Darren

RATINGS:
FOOD: 2+
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 4
AMBIANCE: 2

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

What do you do when the streets seem too crowded, the lights get to bright and the city starts to make you a little jaded? Take a rip to Sudbury for the weekend, pay a few visits and get fucked up like a pile of coat hangers, that's what. Needless to say, an early afternoon breakfast at Jak's Diner, just down the street from Lasalle on Barrydowne will be well in order. In my case, after a night of gettin' stinko around a fire at Peggy's and ending with Darren buying round after round (after round after round after round after round) at Peddlers, the following morning came alongside the worst headache in the history of ever. The treatment for said headache was pretty obvious. Bacon & eggs with 50 cc's of Jak's caesary goodness, stat!

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
3 eggs
bacon, ham, sausage or bologna
homefries
toast
$5.70+tx.

THE FOOD: Basic northern fare with none of the frou-frou fruit and salad of the big city. The problem with this was the price in question didn't exactly reflect the no frills approach. The homefries were cash as always; deep fried with a dash of seasoning salt and a hint of awesome. The caesars were as bloody as I remember them (especially with a pickle from Peggy's rueben thrown in for good measure), but the bacon was crispy, thin and reminiscent of that 30 second microwavable rubbish.

THE PRICE: $5.70, €3.86, ¥604.60, ₨222.98, £2.88, ₣25.36, ₫90,092, R$ 9,87, ₩1,381.55, ฿176.28... No matter how (or where) you put it, it could afford to be a little less.

THE SERVICE: The first round of service at Jak's was a step above the second (seeing as the table we moved to after ordering came with a new server), hence the rating given is much more reflective of the first half of our visit. Outside of giving us an entire pitcher of water and being super-quicktime with the grub, Server #2 didn't bring much more to the table (Get it? Didn't bring much more to the table!). Server #1 on the other hand, pulled up a seat with us to take our order, got everyone at the table's first name and proceeded to ask us what "colour'a toast" we wanted. Not to mention, if you'll notice the expressions in the photo below, came out during our photo shoot to let Missy know that "Everyone in the restaurant wants to thank you for crackin' us a smile!"; and if you've ever met Missy, you'll know exactly what she was talking about.

THE AMBIANCE: Nothing fancy. They seem to be going for the classic diner vibe with the stool lined bar and walls dense with posters of 50's stars, but outside of that, not alot of effort seems to have went into the place. Not to hate though, seeing as it's what you'd expect from small city Northern Ontario, without the interior design resources of the South. All together, they must be doing something right seeing as there was a line up out the door and the joint was at full capacity.

The girls are out to Bingo and the boys are gettin' stinko,
And we think no more of Inco on a Sudbury Saturday night.
The glasses they will tinkle when our eyes begin to twinkle,
And we'll think no more of Inco on a Sudbury Saturday night.

2008-01-27T11:49:00.000-08:00

MITZI'S SISTER (1554 Queen St. W.)
mitzissister.com

THE UPPER CRUST: Chris, Tomas, Adam & Amelie

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 2
AMBIANCE: 3+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

Mitzi's Sister is just that; her younger, hipper, significantly more social sister. Don't be confused though. She's the kind of girl who knows more about her dad's generation of music than he does, and unlike Mitzi, who's sitting at home sipping on lemon grass tea and listening to old 45's (not that there's anything wrong with that), sis still hasn't lost the novelty of loud music and partying until the wee hours of the morning. Mitzi herself is the kind of girl you'd take home to mom, whereas, Mitzi's Sister is ace in the sack. It all comes down to what you're looking for. And if you do decide you'd rather the freak than the frump, you'll find her in Parkdale, on Queen West, somewhere between Lansdowne and Roncesvalles.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
sourdough toast
homefries
bacon
fruit
$6.95+tx.

THE FOOD: Undeniably the highlight of our visit. The rule to ordering at Mitzi's Sister: Just cause it's not on the brunch menu, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. The portions were nothing to die for (and sparse even in comparison to Mitzi's Café), but the quality of the meal superseded our expectations just as it did at the café. With only one slice of sourdough toast (not nearly enough) and only 2 slices of bacon (?!) a point may have been lost, but was quickly made back by the potatoes alone.
Everyone Side-Note: Don't dump the Matouk's scotch bonnet hot sauce on your plate like you might Frank's. However tasty, it's a 7.5/10 on the make you fuckin' sweat scale.

THE PRICE: Seeing as the price and the fare were pretty much identical between sisters, I won't waste my time writing the same thing over and will simply quote Mitzi's Café review; "The price was pretty standard, could have a been a buck or two cheaper, but nothing to write slam poetry over."
Ps- On the topic of slam poetry, Saul Williams just dropped a new album; The Inevitable Rise and Liberation of Niggy Tardust! This shit is fucking grimey! Produced by Trent Reznor, Niggy Tardust is laden with punk and industrial undercurrents, infused with poetic hip-hop genius and a far cry from the Rick Ruben produced Saul of the past. Go download it already.

THE SERVICE: Our server, although friendly (gaining her the bulk of her rating), definitely could have stepped up her game a notch and didn't quite meet any of our expectations (which aren't generally set too high as you may have noticed). The coffee (and food for that matter) took forever and a day, the people who arrived after us got their grub well before we did and my knife didn't appear to have even been washed.
"Ewww. It looks like there's mayo on it."- Amelie

THE AMBIANCE: Mitzi's Sister appears to be a bar by definition and a breakfast joint by default whether that's the case or not. Like Aris and Musa before it, it is very dimly lit and as hangover friendly as they come. With an odd mix of Queen West hipsters, young urban couples (there were no less than 4 strollers in the place) and a family or two, Mitzi's Sister draws in quite an eclectic weekend brunch crowd. The patio in the summer is pretty key and other notabilities are the cliché mash of mix-matched mugs (try and say that five times fast), foot-long teaspoons and walls adorned à la uninspired art gallery, or as Tomas put it, "There's some nice shitty art in this place."

As the famous author Anonymous once said, "Sisters are different flowers from the same garden." This could not be more true than with Mitzi's Café & Mitzi's Sister. Where the café has cieling-high windows and bright natural lighting, the sis has low wattage pendant lights hanging from the ceiling; and where the café has a cook manning a griddle in an open kitchen, the sis has a bartender manning a bottle in a fully licensed bar. Ultimately it comes down to the food to really show you the extent to which they're related. Whether you're an early riser looking for a sunny morning coffee or a hungover waste-case in need of a dimly lit caesar, the standard of eats is the same across the board. Go grab a root; there's a Mitzi's for either mood.

2008-01-24T10:57:00.000-08:00

MAGGI'S (400 College St.)

WE THREE KINGS: Chris, Aaron & Austin

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3+
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 4
AMBIANCE: 3

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: YES
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

35 simple steps to having a sluggish but all together not too shabby thursday like this guy:

(*me pointing at myself with my thumbs all awesome like)

1) Jump in the shower
2) Throw on the standard flannel+hoody+jeans combo
3) Grab a coffee at Big Bee
4) Smoke a cigarette
5) Catch a ride to work
6) Pour yourself a coffee
7) Put on some Every Time I Die
8) Check your email / facebook
9) Look for work to do to no avail
10) Watch Tom Waits interviews on YouTube in chronological order beginning in 1977
11) Pour yourself another coffee
12) Smoke another cigarette
13) Ask people for something to do to no avail
14) Check your email / facebook again
15) Tweak out a new profile photo using an unfinished sketch of yourself
16) Eat breakfast at Maggi's
17) Grab the new Now mag
18) Listen to some Dropkick Murphys
19) Pour yourself another coffee
20) Go over some typesetting for Aaron
21) Go for a cigarette and end up with Michele, Andre, James and a D-SLR
22) Photograph everything other than what you set out to
23) Take a pee
24) Check your email / facebook again
25) Retouch one of the photos taken earlier for Michele
26) Email directions to your place from the 400 for your brother
27) Meet Sarah downstairs
28) Hit up the LCBO
29) Drink some beers at Kevin's
30) Get offered a decent paying freelance gig
31) Accept a decent paying freelance gig
32) Go to the Protest the Hero listening party
33) Get right knackered on $6 Buds
34) Head to Sneaky Dee's for a King's Crown and Mo Drizzies
35) Somehow find your way home and crawl your drunk ass into bed

What the fuck am I getting at? Nothing really, aside from quenching the instinctually voyeuristic appetite of the human psyche and stating #16 in a creative, yet extremely pointless and drawn-out manner. Walk into any shop along College between Spadina and Bathurst and you've got a 50/50 chance of finding either breakfast or computers. At Maggi's you'll find breakfast.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
3 eggs
bacon, ham or sausage
multigrain or white toast
garlic fries
$6.95+tx.

THE FOOD: Just like our "Tree dem Mo Drizzies!" at Sneak's later in the night, the eggs at Maggi's come in threes. (I ended up with 4 though, but that's completely beside the point.) Actually, I don't really have a point. The food was good. That's a point. This one time, myself and some buddies from Spanish were heading into Sudbury for ride night and so as not to lose one another, Steve, in all his french glory asked us if we should have a "meet point". Then I told him "I've got a meat point." and he asked where it was... lol.

THE PRICE: $6.95. The same price as Kos but with tastier food. The same price as Mitzi's, but not quite as flavourful. The same price as Bloor Jane but coffee's not included. The same price as Caddy but with no kick arse patio.

THE SERVICE: Any dude that brings me coffee and links me up with not only a pen, but a notepad and a smile is pretty much the coolest dude in the history of ever. Were it a pretty lady, a 4+ may have been in order.

THE AMBIANCE: The Hollaback Nickelback playlist aside, Maggi's is pretty okay. The puke...i mean peach coloured walls may not be the easiest on the eyes, but if you get there at just the right time , with just the right sky, you get a window full of balmy pleasure. As far as the remainder of the place goes, it's a touch run-down, but all it really needs is a fresh coat of paint and a dash of awesomer.

With a fittingly disheveled demeanor, walls littered with art and a medley of assorted cushions, Maggi's fits right into the Yasi's / Mitzi's mold without even mentioning the pattern in names. Maggi's edge; it's location could not be any better and recieves ten times the traffic as it's side-street sisters. It's foible; they don't put quite the same effort or welcome experimentation into their grub as their character laden counterparts, sticking to a pretty conservative (however savory) breakfast fare. All-in-all, Maggi's is worth checking out if you're in the area for reasons other than RAM; because Aunties and Uncles aside, it's better than alot of the joints on the block.

2008-01-20T11:19:00.000-08:00

KOS RESTAURANT (61 Bellevue Ave.)

THE DYNAMIC DUO: Chris & Rocio

RATINGS:
FOOD: 2+
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 4+
AMBIANCE: 3

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

Today is sunday. I'm 95% positive I woke up in The Twilight Zone. I was wide awake at 9:30. I was not hungover as per usual. I did not have morning wood. I was in the mood to clean the house and I'm now watching The Nanny Diaries, which I didn't even attempt to contest. Fucked eh; breakfast was probably the only routine thing to come of my day. On that note, Rocio and I hit up a decent (however strikingly conformist) little spot called Kos Restaurant; located bang on the corner of Bellevue and Nassau (formerly the Bellevue Diner) in the heart of Kensington Market. But anyways...I'm starting to catch some dirty looks for typing during The Nanny Diaries (god forbid). I'm gonna go now...

EGGSPRESS:
3 eggs
bacon, real ham or hot italian sausage
toast
hash browns
$6.95+tx.

THE FOOD: Not the best breakfast in the market, but definitely not the worst. Proving that presentation isn't everything, the only stand-out items on my plate were the hash browns with their surroundings coming across as (and tasting) fairly orthodox. Fruit is always a nice touch, however, Rocio mowed down my pineapple and didn't seem particularly impressed.
Rocio: "That pineapple tasted like garbage...from the dumpster!"

THE PRICE: At $6.95 before tax and with coffee running extra, Kos is not a place for the penny-pincher. It's far from over-priced, but after the tip, you'd be hard pressed to keep it under a sawbuck.

THE SERVICE: Fecking impeccable. Our server was one of the best I've had in a while. Before I was seated, my drink order was taken and the courtesy kept coming until we walked out the door. A fucking +.

THE AMBIANCE: Kos lacks character in comparison to its variety of immediate neighbors and is far from the second-hand chic I was expecting when Rocio suggested a Kensington Market breakfast. Divided into two sections, you've got the choice of either a more dimly lit, crimson coloured bar side (where I would have rather been seated and which my have upped the ambiance rating a + or two) or a brighter, more naturally lit pastel yellow diner side (in which we sat). Kos, however comfy, rubs me as just another one of the herd, so don't go in expecting the Kensington vibe just because of the location.

Not to be mistaken with K-os, Toronto's pretentiously melodramatic emcee, Kos Restaurant is much more humble (which doesn't take much). Formerly of College & Bathurst, Kos is a place I'd return to if only for the service. If you're in the area, however, and aren't much for the generic new breed of restaurant renovations, there are many more squality (yes, I made up a word and yes it's a combination of squalid and quality) joints to more suitably satisfy your Kensington experience. Pop your head in the door; If it's not your bag, you're nothing but a hop skip and a jump from Last Temptation or one of the markets many other comfortably scuzzy breakfast alternatives.

2008-01-19T14:42:00.000-08:00

AVENUE OPEN KITCHEN
(7 Camden Ave.)

THE HE-MAN WOMEN HATERS CLUB: Chris, Tomas & Paul

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4
PRICE: 4
SERVICE: 4
AMBIANCE: 4

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

...so then l was like, "Ughhh. Breakfast." and then Paul was like, "Mmm. Breakfast." and then I was like, "Where to?" and then Paul was like, "Lets check out that deli place I was telling you about." and then I was like, "Where's it at? and then Paul was like, "Around Spadina and Adelaide." and I was like, "What's it called?" and then Paul was like, "I dunno...it's named after the street or some shit." and then I was like, "I'm down."
And that's the story of how we ended up at Avenue Open Kitchen, located a few doors west of Spadina on the south side of Camden Street. Word.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
3 eggs
bacon
toast
hash browns
$5.75+tx. ($4.40 from 6-11 am)

THE FOOD: The f'in food! Avenue dished out more than I could have expected. 6 streaky rashers a piece (thats limey lingo for bacon), Tomas ending up with 7! The potatoes were gold. The eggs were tasty, however, not up to Rocio's standards (too squiggly). Everything taken into account, the breakfast was solid and well deserving of praise.
Tomas: "I like this bacon cause I keep eating it and it's not finishing."
Paul: "It's magic bacon!"

THE PRICE: Too the blind eye, the price may seem like nothing special, however, taking into consideration the quality and price to grub ratio, it was phenomenal. Also, if you're unlike myself and find yourself out and about downtown between the hours of 6 and 11, you can knock $1.55 off your tally.
Ps- Whether you're getting bacon and eggs, french toast or a western omelette, all the breakfasts are equally priced.

THE SERVICE: Not a complaint. I had a water and a coffee in front of me virtually as soon as I sat down which is pretty much all a not too picky hungover chap like myself could ask for. Breaky was served up prompt and refills needed no requisition.

THE AMBIANCE: What is it with places called Avenue? Just as the Avenue Diner before it, Avenue Open Kitchen is a classic diner through and through. You'd almost expect to find this place down the street from the post office in Millbrook, Indiana. The place has custom labeled (on the back of a bill slip at that) squeeze bottles of HP and an aesthetic straight out of A History of Violence, sans ruthless killer attempting to off the waitress.

Johnny Bower endorsed and a solid 4 across the boards, this place is so good I'll bet you a thousand million dollars (Paul: "Incase you didn't know, that's a billion.") that Avenue Open Kitchen will find it's way into your top 5 list of Toronto breakfast joints. For serious.

2008-01-10T16:59:00.001-08:00

MAKE IT BACON
Your daily dose of all things bacon

THE MORNING AFTER has a sister blog!

Updated daily with everything you need to know to keep you up to date with the rapidly growing subculture that is bacon.
Enjoy.

2008-01-05T13:38:00.000-08:00

ARIS PLACE (229 Roncesvalles Ave.)

THE SHIT SHOW: Chris, Tomas, Paul & Adam

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3+
PRICE: 4
SERVICE: 4
AMBIANCE: 4+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

After the two weeks of hell-bent overindulgence that was the Christmas holidays (Special thanks go out to Bill, Adam & Amelie, Taylor & Vicky, Tam-Tam, Lionel and fam, The Olson sisters, Tiff, DD and all others that joined in the debauchery), a proper Toronto get-together and a proper Toronto breakfast was most definitely in order; A) Because friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life and B) Because there's no such thing as all-day breakfast in Blind River (who the fuck gets up before 11 during the holidays?!). With the little bro in town for the weekend, and for the first review of two thousand and great, we figured we'd take a ride down Roncesvalles and stop at the first place that caught our eye. Here we found Aris Place; just south of High Park Boulevard with "All Day Breakfast" prominently displayed in the window, the choice was evident.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
3 eggs
bacon
buttered toast
potatoes
$4.95+tx.

THE FOOD: Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon (damn skippy we got four pieces!). The bacon was some of the best I've had and the tomato was a welcome addition, however as Adam stated, the hash browns were "toopotatoey". All in all, the tasty meter hit a solid 3+ and the verdict was unanimous.

THE PRICE: $4.95 + $1 for coffee! Shit, bring a date! Buy her two, who cares! She'll think you're ballin'! Slap in a side-order of smooth and you're guaranteed to make it to second base!

THE SERVICE: Loads of personalitay. Whenever our waitress came around she gave us all individual play-by-plays; "Toast, toast, toast..." and when we asked for more water she rolled by with a jug and said "The waterrrrr" in a funny voice. Nuff said.

THE AMBIANCE: If I had to say one attribute stood out while the others didn't quite add up to the same extent (reminiscent of our run-in with "cleavage girl" in Hero Burger later in the night), the ambience definitely took the cake. The lighting...OMFG the lighting. Adorned with low-wattage outdoor wall sconces it was hands down the best lighting of any place we've ever reviewed in this beautiful blog of ours. PERFECT lighting one might say. The interior of the place was à la cozy ski chalet with added elements of awesome. Wood accented walls and ceilings, faux leather table tops, deer antlers (or as Paul put it, "just enough death on the walls") and various captivating pictures including a '93 World Series poster starring none other than Joe Carter & Roberto Alomar.

To sum it all up, Pauly couldn't have put it any better...
"I don't know if this is the bacon talking, but it's nice in here. I like it.

2007-12-17T12:21:00.000-08:00

MIZTZI'S CAFÉ (100 Sorauren Ave.)
mitzissister.com

THE ARBITERS: Chris, Tomas, Rocio & Renata

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4+
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 3
AMBIANCE: 3

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: NO (fucking amazing habanero hotsauce though!)
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

Located in the heart of Parkdale at the quiet residential intersection of Sorauren and Pearson (just a few blocks north of Queen West), you can find the ever so campy Mitzi's Café. Not to be confused with Mitzi's Sister only a few blocks away, this is the original establishment that spawned it's ever so popular counterpart. This is where it all began, so it only seemed fair for us to start here.

MITZI'S BREAKFAST SPECIAL:
2 eggs
toast
homefries
fruit
choice of:
- bacon
- sauteed tomatoes
- fishcakes
$6.95+tx.

THE FOOD: The food was schimply schpectacular. Instead of two eggs, I recieved a cute little family; the bread was sourdough; and between the bacon and the homefries, I couldn't decide what made me want to cream in my...coffee...more. A solid 4+.

THE PRICE: The price was pretty standard, could have a been a buck or two cheaper, but nothing to write slam poetry over.

THE SERVICE: No great shakes. The service, like the price, was run-of-the-mill and nothing seemed to stand out.

THE AMBIANCE: It reminded me of Yasi's Place sans (as much) character. Art is displayed on the walls in the same ceiling-hung fashion; formica tables are as far as the eye can see; and you'll find more mix-matched mugs than Value Village, of which Tomas had the choicest one in the place. A pink and cyan cartesian grid adorned with butterflies and a watering can sprouting flowers. As Tomas said, "Dude, this us the best mug i've ever had...I think the coffee even tastes better out of it." The temp was a little too toasty for my taste, but all in all, the place was retro and homey and a nice spot to check out on a much needed monday off.
Rocio Side-Note: The cook was wearing a train conductor's hat!

Easy Restaurant was our original destination when leaving home on this chilly monday morning and if it weren't for a navigational flaw on Tomas' part, Mitzi's wouldn't have even crossed our path. The fact that it did however was one of the best mistakes we could have made. My advice, Go make a mistake; you probably won't regret it. (Unless it's getting knocked up...that'd probably suck.)

2007-12-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

MUSA (847 Dundas St. W.)

THE CAROUSERS: Chris, Tomas, Sarah, Nikki, Rocio & Kevin
(with surprise guest Stefan Wegner)

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3+
PRICE: 3
SERVICE: 4+
AMBIANCE: 3

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES (with a wide variety of caesars!)
HP SAUCE: NO
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

Musa. To the Lithuanians, it's a river; to the Arabs, Moses; and to Torontians, it seems to refer to a damn tasty breakfast. About half way between Trinity-Bellwoods Park and Bathurst on Dundas West you'll find this afoot little eatery. Rocio name dropped this place one too many times, so I figured (if only to make her smile), I'd give it a go and I'm really quite happy I did.

CLASSIC BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
bacon or sausage
cajun or rosemary roast potatoes
toast
$5.95+tx.

THE FOOD: "Toilet water" and weak coffee aside, Musa from what I recall far surpased my expectations. I wish I had been sobered up for the experience, seeing as my recollection of the entire affair is minimal. Some highlights in a few words (taken directly from my notes) include:
∙ spicy chili butter stuff
∙ grapes cut in half
∙ steamed milk
∙ fruittttttt
Rocio Side-Note: The Salmon Rocket is sick.
Tomas Side-Note: Benny= 4+
Kevin Side-Note: Penis is nice.

THE PRICE: The price, the price, the price was nice. I settled in cash, no mechanical device. I didn't think twice. The bill was precise. No need to squeeze it out of me with a bench-mounted vise. Out came my wallet, a storage device. Limited funds but they seemed to suffice.

THE SERVICE: The service was amiably amicable, approachably benevolent, courteously cordial, graciously obliging and harmoniously polite. (That means really fucking good.)
Ps- I'd like to formally apologize to the little dude I heckled. When I asked if there was "...grinds in the coffee or just brown and water?!" it was just my little way of saying it could be stronger next time.

THE AMBIANCE: From the wallpaper-like extior paint job to the comfy booths, I was feeling it. If it weren't for the fact that the place was -15°, it would have been a very pleasent overall experience. The lighting was mint (as seen in the breakfast shot) and very hangover friendly. Bout all I recall.
Sarah Side-Note: There were pretty pictures on the wall. Part of me wants to say there was an elephant, but I don't think that's true.

Musa musa mo musa, banana fana fo fusa, me my mo musa...MUSA. (Check it out.)

2007-12-15T21:21:00.000-08:00

IN 'ER SINCE 1944!

The infamous Av and Dav signage in all its selectively cropped glory.

Peace in the middle crease.

2007-12-12T20:11:00.000-08:00

RED ROOM (444 Spadina Ave.)

THE CO-CONSPIRATORS: Chris, Pam & Shanghoon

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3+
PRICE: 4+
SERVICE: 2+
AMBIANCE: 4

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES
HP SAUCE: YES (but not on this day in particular)
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

So a photographer, a rep and an art director walk into a bar...
At the corner of College & Spadina, on the northern border of Chinatown and no more than a block away from my office is the wonderfully dingy Red Room. One of the most well known barstaurants in the area, Red Room doesn't often fail in delivering cheap eats and an inviting atmosphere.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
bacon or sausage
homefries
salad
toast
$3.75+tx.

THE FOOD: I was pleasently surprised, seeing as this was my first Red Room breakfast and taking into consideration how hit or miss they are as far as food quality goes (the soups and sandwiches are mintacular whereas much else on the menu is nothing to write home about). The ratios were a little askew. I got four pieces of bacon and yet only a single slice of toast which was pretty hard to distribute amongst two eggs. I fucking hate when the toast to egg ratio isn't even. Grrr...
Shanghoon Side-Note: The pancakes didn't have enough egg in the mix.
Pam Side-Note: The sausages are tasty yet predictable.

THE PRICE: A 5 were they a touch more attainable. Also, the fact that it was on Westside's tab didn't hurt in the slightest.

THE SERVICE: Nothing special. Forgetful to say the least. Took forever with the coffee rifills. The only real plus was water without asking.

THE AMBIANCE: It's Red Room. I've only ever met one person ever (who I soon after disowned) that didn't feel comfortable under the faint glow of the sporadic christmas lights and surrounded by the interesting mix of original artwork (chickens getting nasty and all).

Red Room is one of those places you could hit up for a mid-day business breakfast, head with 15 odd friends to get knackered or swing by on a thursday for a quiet soup and sandwich over the new Now. Either way, check it out if you haven't already and tell those who say otherwise to shove it up their wazoo.

2007-12-03T20:22:00.000-08:00

AVENUE DINER (222 Davenport Rd.)

THE GUILTY PARTY: Chris, Tomas & Sarah

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4
PRICE: 2
SERVICE: 4+
AMBIANCE: 4+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

Heema and Paul threw a shit-show of a birthday bash on friday and we all hit up Frans on College (which I was too lazy/hungover/still drunk to review but will get around to in the future) the following morning. On our way there to meet everyone, Tomas, Sarah and myself drove past the Avenue Diner, which we had never noticed prior, and said, "Tomorrow?" Guess what? It's tomorrow. On the corner of Davenport and Avenue stands what I would hazard to call the last true diner in this fair city of ours and one that's stood it's ground since 1944. This gorgeous piece of history, phallic signage and all, ranks near if not at the top of my list of any place I've ever set foot in with breakfast on my mind.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
bacon, ham or sausage
homefries
toast
$7.25+tx.

THE FOOD: When I received my grub, I was surprised by the meager portions in front of me, but once my fork hit my mouth I was swept away to a land of quality over quantity. As Merrill Howard Kalin might say, "It's soooooo goood!" The bacon was on the same level as New York Café and everything else came in not far behind.
Tomas Side-Note: I like finding pieces of bacon in my potatoes. (or "hash browns", the direct quote is still under debate.)

THE PRICE: The only downfall to the entire place (next to the lack of a vintage coke machine as Tomas believed) was the price. A cher $13 in the end for the amount of food you get, but one that didn't take any convincing to justify considering the fact that everything else was nothing short of perfect.

THE SERVICE: All I could say the entire time was how much I wanted to take "grandma" home so she could fix me sandwiches and make me feel like a big boy.

THE AMBIANCE: As stated before, this is a true diner if I have ever seen one. From "grandma" yelling the orders from your table to Igor in the kitchen, to...everything really. If Norman Rockwell didn't die 30 years ago, he'd totally eat here. And then paint the place. And then eat here some more.

This joint is gold. Pure fucking gold.

2007-11-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

BLOOR-JANE RESTAURANT
(2434 Bloor St. W.)

THE CREW: Chris, Tomas & Janek

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3+
PRICE: 3+
SERVICE: 4
AMBIANCE: 4

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: YES
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES (and Heinz 57 for the haters)
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

Bloor West Village. Breeding ground to some of the chillest dudes I know and home of a grimey little greasy spoon I think equally as highly of. A few steps east of Jane St. on Bloor you'll find the aptly named Bloor Jane Restaurant. From the not so upkept exterior, one might not think twice about walking on by, but for those that decide otherwise, a world of awesome...awesomeness resides.

BREAKFAST SPECIAL:
2 eggs
bacon, ham or sausage
homefries
toast
coffee
$7.00 (no tax)

THE FOOD: Pretty, pretty, pretttty good. (I honesty don't know what more to say.)

THE PRICE: Like the food, the price was decent. At a tax free $7, and from what I recall, eight and change in total, one might deserve a bitch-slap for complaining.

THE SERVICE: Lets put it this way.
You order. You then turn to the person beside you and ask them to pass what you believe to be a (conveniently) idle issue of Now Magazine lying on the counter beside them. They reply, "Actually, it's an Eye Weekly." "Oh. Never mind." you say as you turn back around on your stool. You then realize that your breakfast is already in front of you!
The End.
Over and above this fictional, yet illustrative story of speed and agility, the staff made me feel at home. Behind the grizzly appearances of the cooks and the heavy accents of the waitresses are a group of people that function like clockwork and who you get the feeling have been doing this for a while.

THE AMBIANCE: Open kitchen. booths n' stools. A Playboy sticker on the stove hood. A true greasy spoon if I've ever seen one.

Although a little out of the way for most, Bloor-Jane Restaurant is well worth the trek. It's a seemingly divey hole-in-the-wall that has the ability to do nothing short of change one's entire philosophy on life. (Maybe not, but their breakfast is crack)

2007-11-12T18:09:00.000-08:00

THE MORNING AFTER: ON THE ROAD EDITION

DIXIE LEE FAMILY RESTAURANT
(147 Front St. ∙ Spanish, ON)
dixieleechicken.ca

THE FAM: Chris, Grandma & Jakob

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3
PRICE: 3+
SERVICE: 4+
AMBIANCE: 2+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO (but there are picnic tables out front)
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

Spanish, Ontario. Population 750 (although the sign claims 1100). Located about half way between Sudbury and Sault Ste. Marie, situated on the Trans Canada Highway and acting as the 'Gateway to the North Shore' of Lake Huron is this quiet little town. A town where the four seasons are almost winter, winter, still winter and construction and a town I know all too well having spent the first 18 years of my life there. On the west end of town, you'll find a big red roof housing the Dixie Lee Family Restaurant (formerly The Picnic Basket), a small franchise specializing in chicken and fish, but not doing too shabby a job where breakfast is concerned.

SUNRISE SPECIAL:
2 eggs
bacon, ham or sausage
homefries
toast
$4.99+tx.

THE FOOD: Pretty standard for this type of small town establishment. The super-thick texas toast and bacon fried to perfection definitely stood out. The potatoes however, done noticeably different than usual were the only downfall to the breakfast. Pan fried and lightly done, they were not what I was expecting, nor were they my preference. However, Diane, the owner, made a point to recognize and justify their preparation to me before I could even take a bite.

THE PRICE: Just like the wait (which I'll be getting to soon), the price was virtually non-existent (not to mention my loving grandma picked up the tab). In total, the bill couldn't have added up to more than $6 per meal before ol' Provincial and Good & Services took their cut. That's a price not even granny could argue with.

THE SERVICE: Unmatched as always. Before I could even seat myself, I heard from over my shoulder, "'Mornin' Chris. Coffee?" This being said to a guy that pops in 5, maybe 6 times a year at best. As I said earlier, my wait was virtually non-existent. I ordered, popped out for a quick smoke (which got me some disapproving glares from grandma), and by the time I got back, my breaky was sitting there, awaiting my arrival.

THE AMBIANCE: What can I say? I grew up eating here, and it's barely changed a bit. Sure, I may have an emotional bias, but to me it feels (and sounds and looks and tastes and smells) like home. I admit, it can be be way to f'in bright and the thought put into the interior design has been lost and fallen off over the years (with a mish-mash of signage and knick-knacks both franchisee and otherwise), but that's just one of many things that earns this place it's character. The great thing about Dixie Lee is although it franchised not long ago, nothing has really changed aside from the name and the many tasty additions to the menu.

After 5 hours on the road, having left Toronto at 4:30am and arriving at 9:30, nothing could have beat a satisfying breakfast. If you find yourself in my old neck-of-the-woods (literally), remember that Dixie Lee is just around the corner, and if the potatoes are done right, you'll want to hole up at Vance's Motor Inn just so you can do it again the next day.

2007-11-03T20:14:00.003-07:00

Did you miss us?
Sorry about the five month hiatus all.
Poverty struck in the form of a very time consuming unpaid internship and paying for breakfasts was not on my 'to do list' for some time.
I'm going to be doing what I can to right my wrongs and get back to the regular updates, so stay tuned, I should have another within the week if all goes well.

Keep eating breakfast.

2007-11-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

THE GEORGE STREET DINER
(129 George St.)

THE 'MAD MEN': Chris, Mike D & Dan

RATINGS:
FOOD: 2
PRICE: 2
SERVICE: 3+
AMBIANCE: 4+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: YES (for the most part)
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES (and an unopened bottle at that)
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

Once upon a time, back to the days of yore (2004-2006), this pearl of a 50's-style diner, just up the street from the St. Lawrence Market, was so close to my apartment building I would often wake up to the smell of fresh coffee and frying bacon. Things were much simpler then and although times have changed considerably, The George Street Diner remains, on the corner of Richmond and George, as inviting as ever.

CANADIAN BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
strip bacon
baked beans
homefries
toast
$7.25+tx.

THE FOOD: Pretty blah, all things considered. Not to say that they're food isn't generally tasty (their breakfast sandwiches kept me lubed for two years), but today's 'Canadian Breakfast' (although recieving an A for presentation) seemed boring and rushed. Everything short of the toast was underdone leaving me with slimey eggs and bacon that let out an oink with the first bite. My advice: Give something other than the standard breakfast a try.
Mike D Side-Note: Bomb chocolate/strawberry milkshake.

THE PRICE: Far from a selling point. Unimpressive quantity→price ratio. With tip, I shelled out $12 and was less than satisfied with the preparation of my grub.

THE SERVICE: The service was great as always. Coffee and water before we could take off our jackets and our meals were on the table in less than 10 minutes of us walking through the door (may explain the virgin preparation). Plus the lady at the cash, however twitchy, danced away to Lead Belly while ringing through our seperate bills.

THE AMBIANCE: Don't let the food rating scare you, I couldn't have asked for a more pleasent environment to wallow in crapulence after the night of trouble ("Come on guys, there's bars and pubs for that kind of thing") cooked-up with Dan and Donaghey that preceeded.

∙ Genuine character: ✓
∙ Very decent MP3 playlist: ✓
∙ Good lighting: ✓
∙ Adjustable blinds: ✓
∙ A 40 year-old virgin with a Motorhead t-shirt bussing tables: ✓

My only vice would be the tight booths. I don't know if people were much smaller in the 50's, but I like to kick back before breakfast, and at The George, that can be kind of hard to do.

However hit or miss, if you're in the neighborhood and decided the night before you were going to kill a mickey of C.C. in the theatre over Lars and The Real Girl then follow it up with a night of excess, this place will settle your stomach while being easy on the eyes at the same time. Check it out if only for the atmosphere.

2007-07-07T17:59:00.000-07:00

AUNTIES AND UNCLES (74 Lippincott St.)

THE ENSEMBLE CAST: Chris, Tomas, Paul, Gira & Amy

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 3+
AMBIANCE: 4

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: NO (but there was homemade ketchup and hot sauce)
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

In the heart of the Breakfast District (or so I like to call it), one can find a great little place called Aunties and Uncles. Aunties and Uncles is located just off the corner of College & Lippincott, a half-way point between Kensington Market and Little Italy, and on the same city block as Sneaky Dee's, Mars, Maggie's, Pickadilly's, etc. (See a trend?) What makes Aunties and Uncles stand out in this breakfast congested area? It's fucking better than the rest of them.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
including any 3 of the following:
- toast
- bagel
- potatoes
- fruit
- cottage cheese
- greens
- bacon
- ham
- peameal
$7.75+tx.

THE FOOD: The food was cash. The standard breakfast was listed as coming with "scrambled" eggs, however, there was no problem in making a substitution for the foolproof sunnies. What makes Aunties and Uncles breakfast is their creative alternative to your traditional homefries. The eats, a cold dill and dijon potato salad is a welcome change and will leave you feeling satisfied without leaving you feeling guilty.

THE PRICE: The price was pretty boilerplate and easily understandable. An Old MacDonald plus tip was all I really needed to satisfy my got rot from the previous night's indulgences.

THE SERVICE: The service was flexible and substitutions were more than welcome. Our server was cute and affable and I have never received a breakfast in such a short period of time. The dude that was serving and seating seemed like he couldn't give a fuck to be there, but he didn't serve us, so my experience was more than pleasant.

THE AMBIANCE: Sitting on the patio, one will notice quite the abundance of indie kids and hipsters alike, but what can you expect with the kitschy design, retro kitchen furniture, age old formica tables and issues of music mags from the early 90's strewn about. However, it is the patio that seals the deal here. It's fairly roomy and equipped with 6 large picnic tables and covered by an awning, which although you can't smoke under, lets you enjoy your breakfast outdoors, rain or shine. The only downfall to this patio on a warm summers day however...scenester dudes in cut off jean shorts so scant you'll wanna poke your eyes out.

Aunties and Uncles is a place I would head back to in a heartbeat. Every aspect of our visit was above par. On top of that, I work two blocks away, which means I think I may have just found my new regular weekday joint.

2007-07-07T17:18:00.001-07:00

GAYLEY'S CAFÉ (1424 Dundas St. W.)

THE BREAKWAY PARTY: Chris, Tomas, Heema, Paul & Gira

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 2+
AMBIANCE: 3

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: YES
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES (not to mention calypso sauce)
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

Gayley's Café. lol. Sorry. Anyways. Gayley's is a café. Gayley's serves breakfast. Gayley's is near Paul's. Gayley's is fun to say. Gayley's is not so strategically placed next to the more than recognizable Sunset Grill located a block or so east of Dundas & Dufferin. Gayley's is better than Sunset Grill, not that that says much of anything. (Did I mention I fucking hate Sunset Grill?) It's been a month since we visited Gayley's, then I got a new job which consumes the bulk of my creativity, leaving me feeling drained when I get the free time to hop online...oh, and I lost my notes. Bear with me.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
bacon or sausage
homefries
toast
$5.95+tx.
Sub:
peameal ($1)

THE FOOD: From what I can recall, the food was pretty orthodox. The standard breakfast was exactly that, predictable and boring, but far from unappetizing.

THE PRICE: The price was standard. I found it to be a little much for what I recieved and found it sadly like the food, nothing special.

THE SERVICE: The service was the weakest aspect of the whole Gayley's experience. We showed up around 7:30 (yes, in the AM), ordered promptly, but by the time our food arrived, i would have been just as happy waking up an hour later and going next door to Sunset Grill (which I fucking hate) and getting fed in the same timeframe. Nobody was at all impressed. The service was courteous for the most part but aside from that, nothing to be desired when your beer filled tummy is rumbling for grease.

THE AMBIANCE: The interior was nicely designed from what I can recall. It was little brightly hued for my liking, however, if my mind serves me right, I remember liking the exposed brick walls. There was a Now Magazine rack near the door. I like reading Now while I wait for breakfast. I still don't think I'd bother going back.

Gayleys. lol.

2007-06-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

YASI'S PLACE (299 Wallace Ave.)
yasisplace.com

THE OLD-BOY NETWORK: Chris & Tomas

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4+
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 3+
AMBIANCE: 4

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES (full brunch menu: sat & sun, 10am-3pm)
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: YES (free trade/weekdays before 11am)
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: NO (amazing homemade hot sauce though)
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

This was my second trip to the infamous Yasi's Place, a neighboorhood hotspot & urban hippy commune cleverly disguised as a quasi-health conscious diner. Unless you know where Yasi's is, or know a guy who knows a guy, the likelyhood is you won't be stumbling upon this Wallace Emerson gem. That considered, the place is always packed which definately means their doing something right.

ALL DAY BREAKFAST:
2 free range eggs
homefries
toast
$5.99+tx.
Add:
bacon or tempeh sausage ($2)

THE FOOD: Hippy fare at it's finest, plain and simple. The kicker is Yasi's homefries, curryrific and spiced like none other. The free range eggs and the bacon are pretty standard. The toast is as whole grain as it gets and the tempeh sausage, although not my preference, is a nice alternative and guaranteed to satisfy your inner herbivore.

THE PRICE: A breakfast for two at Yasi's costs roughly the weekly expentiture of an Ecuadorian family of nine, yet, to an extent, it can be justified. Their eggs are free range, their coffee's free trade and their food is just plain tasty. Not the best deal around, but worth it if you've got the flow.

THE SERVICE: The service, pit hair and all is nothing to complain about. There is more often than not, more people working than patrons being served, meaning the service is quick as a brown fox jumping over a lazy dog and more than courteous.

THE AMBIANCE: The place appears to be an ooold corner store converted into a diner. It's mix-matched and chock full of character, from the circa 70's furniture to the original art displayed on all the walls. The patio alike is a mish mash of random furniture, seemingly thrown together without thought, yet comfortable and homey. Very interesting place with more than enough to look at while you wait for your food.

Yasi's, although out of the way for most, is a hidden gem in a not so visited area. If you're in the Wallace Emerson area and want to bump into some OCAD folk, are looking for some damn good eats, or just want to relax and plant some herbs in the community garden, head to the corner of Wallace and Campbell (one block east of Symmington), you won't be disappointed.

2007-06-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

CADILLAC LOUNGE (1296 Queen St. W.)
cadillaclounge.com

THE SELF-HELP GROUP:
Chris, Paul, Matt, Scott, Emmy, Tomas, Rocio & Ryan

RATINGS:
FOOD: 2+
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 3+
AMBIANCE: 4

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: NO (sat & sun, 10:30am-3:30pm)
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES (bottomless cup: $3)
LICENSED: YES (full bar)
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: YES (4,000 sq. ft.)
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

Once upon a time (last night), Paul had a party. It was Zach's birthday. There was a watergun full of rum. I woke up on the roof of Paul's house. Needless to say, I needed breakfast more than I can recall since I started this blog. The answer was at the edge of Parkdale, in the heart of hipster central, trendy West Queen West. Here, you can find Cadillac Lounge, located about a block west of Dufferin. Although it's been a regular haunt for a couple of years, this was my first full introduction to Cadillac's breakfast (brunch). Caddy boasts the largest patio on Queen West, not to mention regular live music and more sexy rockabilly girls than you can shake a stick at.

CLASSIC BREAKFAST YOUR WAY:
3 eggs
peameal, strip bacon or sausage
homefries
toast
$6.95+tx.

THE FOOD: The food was nothing to talk about per say. It took forever to come, and when it did, nobody seemed to be too impressed. The fruit tasted like it was been thawed then left under a heat lamp for a day. I found my own meal pretty standard. Nothing really stood out, yet nothing was particularly bad. On the upside, the marble rye option was a nice change from the ordinary, as was my getting 5 pieces of bacon versus the standard 3 (a couple of pieces were actually 2 stuck together). All in all, "meh."
Ryan Side-Note: They forgot the cheese on my omelette.

THE PRICE: Pretty much what you'd expect to pay for breakfast at a bar I'd say. Nothing to claim bankruptcy over, but far from a bargain.

THE SERVICE: Our server Heidi was quite nice. She was attentive yet un-intrusive, which is key. "So you got enough cream and shit?" She brought us pitchers of water (did I meantion I love water?). She was quicktime with the drinks, but much too slow in taking our meal order, since we had been sitting there with menus for some time before her first appearence. I'm just happy to have not had the annoying dude who really needs to lay off the over-the-top hospitality act before he implodes for being such a dink. But yeah, back to service. Aside from waiting a good half hour for our food, I'd say they did pretty well with minimal mistakes for taking care of a table of eight, plus the creamers came on ice.
Paul Side-Note: She gave me rye instead of brown toast.
Ps- Heidi smelled nice.
Pss- They were out of Baileys for my coffee.

THE AMBIANCE: It's the fucking Caddy Paddy. There's not a whole lot of negative things one can say about this place. Inside the bar it's dark, like, really dark, which is beautiful when you wake up outside covered in dirt after a night of excess. Outside, the patio is huge, the atmosphere is casual, the music's ace and the girls are gorgeous, what more can you possibly ask for? Aside from more comfortable patio chairs and an all you can eat buffet, I can't think of a whole lot.

Ahhh, Cadillac. How I missed you throughout the winter. I'm just happy to have this patio back. Sure the breakfast's pretty basic, i'd suggest the Huevos Rancheros (easy on the sour cream) over the standard, but all in all it's definately a place worth visiting. So do so.

2007-06-01T11:40:00.000-07:00

BOOM BREAKFAST & CO.
(1036 St. Clair Ave. W.)
boombreakfast.com

THE A-TEAM: Chris & Tomas

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3+
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 4+
AMBIANCE: 3

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: YES
COFFEE INCLUDED: YES (mon-fri, 6am-4pm, excl. holidays)
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: YES
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

Tomas and I got up this morning (by morning I mean afternoon), and decided to be spontaneous. Instead of referring to our Coming Soon list we decided to just hop in the ol' Benzo and take a tour of St. Clair West to see what Corso Italia had to offer. To our surprise, we came across BOOM, completely unaware that they had expanded north of College.

BOOM POWER BREAKFAST:
2 eggs
double-smoked bacon, ham or sausage
BOOM frites
roasted tomato
$5.99+tx.
Substitute:
peameal (1.99)

THE FOOD: The food was exactly what I have come to expect from this style of trendy, ultra-modern, predominently breakfast specific establishment (ie- The 'New' Frans). That isn't necessarily a bad thing however. The food was more than appetizing. The "BOOM frites" were spiced nicely, redeeming them from the fact that they were deep fried and the roasted tomato was a perfect compliment. The breakfast came with one slice of toast, however, immediately following it's arrival we were asked if we would like another complimentary slice, which totally makes sense. Keeping on the toast, it also came unbuttered with a side, another plus, being some (including myself and Tomas) don't see the need for toast to be buttered when you're dipping it in yolk in the first place. Verdict, the food was guilty of being pretty damn good.

THE PRICE: Another thing that I've come to expect from this type of place, but in this case, not a plus. The price wasn't unheard of, sitting at a cool $5.99 before tax, $7.99 with our peameal substitute, but I've definately seen better. Then again, I suppose they have to pay for their interior designers, large leather booths and espresso bars somehow.

THE SERVICE: The service could not have been better in my opinion. Our server, Kristy, was concerned, quick and cute to boot. On top of our complimentary toast and freshly ground pepper, we didn't have to ask for water, our refills were prompt and our service came with a smile. The manager (from what I could tell) lent me a pen for the duration of breaky, no questions asked. I payed at the cash and in all honesty, developed a bit of a thing for the barista, with whom work, CityPulse24 and life were discussed over the course of a single debit transaction. In whole, it was a pleasent experience and I would return for the service alone.

THE AMBIANCE: Very stylish and contemporary in my opinion, while Tomas thought it was tasteless. I won't disagree with him in some areas, specifically the eggs painted on one wall and the "RELAX", "DREAM", "ENJOY", "LOVE" above our booth. All together, however, the overall ambiance was quite nice. The booths were as comfortable as dining seating can be and the lighting was bright, but not excessive. The space was used very well and the 12' ceilings were...whatever the opposite of confining is.

BOOM, here comes the BOOM, ready or not, here comes the eggs and they're hot (lame P.O.D. reference, I know). But anyways, we like this place for what it is. I'm usually a stronger fan of the quaint, hole-in-the-wall, greasy spoon type joints, but it didn't take me long to warm up to BOOM. The food was good, the service was great and the price was manageable. Check it out for yourself.

2007-05-31T10:02:00.000-07:00

SAVING GRACE (907 Dundas St. W.)

THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE: Chris, Tomas, Emmy, Christine & Rocio

RATINGS:
FOOD: 2+ (standard breakfast)
PRICE: 2+
SERVICE: 3+
AMBIANCE: 3

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: YES
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: NO
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: NO
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

So Rocio took me to this place called Saving Grace a couple weeks of ago located just east of Trinity-Bellwoods Park on Dundas St. W. and up until the fact, was repping it to the fullest. After our first visit I found myself impressed with this charming little hole-in-the-wall and due to that, here we find ourselves.

STANDARD BREAKFAST:
scrambled eggs
bacon or sausage
toast
$6.00+tx.

THE FOOD: It wasn't the quality of the food that earned the place it's rating, but rather a culmination of factors. As far as options go when it comes to a standard breakfast...they have none. The eggs come in scrambled, scrambled and scrambled and the portion makes you feel like you're on a diet. The first time I went, I ordered the daily breakfast special (which changes daily), consisting of 2 poached eggs, tomato and cheese on a piece of toasted corn bread. It was small, but needless to say it was great, and I would highly suggest trying the specials. All in all, their food is top notch in both it's quality and the creativity of the dishes, however this is definately not a place you would go for a cheap, standard breakfast by any means.
Emmy Side-Note: Thumbs up to almond butter.

THE PRICE: I found the price quite inconsistent throughout the menu. In some places it is more than fair and in others, otherwise. As far as the breakfast goes, $6 is a bit of a kick in the teeth for the amount of food you recieve. For two breakfasts and beverages I found myself short with $20 and leaving unsatisfied.

THE SERVICE: A little slow on the draw, but nothing to complain about. Our server didn't really inquire too much, but then again, I'd rather let her know when I need something than be continually bothered throughout my breakfast as with many other places. Oh, and she was cute, so +1. ;)

THE AMBIANCE: The place has a glass storefront, letting in plenty of light and is nicely shaded by trees on the sidewalk. Me being the vampire that I am, I figured I would object to this fact, but quite the contrary. I found it lit perfectly and very pleasent. The benches could be cushioned...yet thats about my only complaint. There is just something about this place that makes it quaint and comfortable. It could be the fact that not a single coffee cup matches, or that the spoons for the raw sugar are like those little ones your grandma used to collect and hang on the wall. It could be the original art on the wall, or the fact that their soundtrack consisted of The Pixies, The Cure and The Postal Service. Whatever it is, it just seems to work.

At Saving Grace, great food seems to come in small packages. Nevertheless, it's a joint worth smoking if you're in the mood for anything other than a standard breakfast.

2007-05-30T22:37:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK CAFÉ (757 Broadview Ave.)

THE CONNOISSEURS: Chris & Tomas

RATINGS:
FOOD: 4+
PRICE: 4+
SERVICE: 3
AMBIANCE: 3+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES (special 7am-11am)
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: YES
FREE REFILLS: NO (exceptions made)
LICENSED: YES (full bar)
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

So New York Café is this diamond in the rough...actually...it's not really in the rough being at the corner of Broadview & Danforth at what you could call the entrance to GreekTown, one of Toronto's most up and coming neighborhoods. It's more like a diamond in with a bunch of other, much lesser carrat diamonds. We discovered this place a while back and god only knows why it took us so long to go back.

BREAKFAST SPECIAL:
2 eggs
bacon, ham or sausage
homefries
toast
coffee
$3.75+tx.

THE FOOD: From the perfectly fried eggs to the "why the hell does this bacon taste so good?!" to the flawlessly spiced homefries, there is not a single complaint that can be made. As far as the potatoes go, this place knows what's up. The first time around getting breakfast here, we ordered the standard breakfast (not the special) and were introduced to a marinated, boiled and fried whole potatoe that I'm pretty sure I saw two homeless dudes fight to the death over in the alleyway. Not to take away from the special potatoes however, as Tomas said were "...like every homefrie was tended to individually." All in all, it was a near perfect breakfast.
PS- There were 4 pieces of bacon.

THE PRICE: WTF! $8.55 for the both of us, $10 with the tip?! Should have gotten one for the road.

THE SERVICE: She was nice...but. Our initial coffees didnt arrive until 5 minutes after we ordered and we were never asked if we wanted refills, however we did recieve water without asking. We waited for the bill longer than necessary, but on the other hand, the breakfast itself arrived quicktimes. Could have been better, could have been worse.

THE AMBIANCE: NEW YORK NEW YORK! We could have sworn we were on Broadview...wait a minute. The place was not crammed by any means, and the decor is on point. The wall is painted with a large mural of the New York skyline, Statue of Liberty and all. The place is divided into two sections, with faux stone archways connecting them. The table we sat at was was situated beside large, open, street-side windows. The best thing about this place is when you're sitting, enjoying your breaky, you don't feel like you're in Toronto, which for somebody who doesn't get out of the city much, is fucking refreshing.

To conclude...go here. NOW. Like seriousely. Dropped whatever you're doing and go. (preferably before 11)

2007-05-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

PETER'S PLACE (784 Annette St.)

THE INTEREST GROUP: Chris & Tomas

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3
PRICE: 3
SERVICE: 4+
AMBIANCE: 3

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: YES
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: NO
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: YES

What can we say about Pete's? It's situated at the corner of Jane & Annette in the Babypoint area of town. This is pretty much the place that started it all, and of every breakfast joint in town, mine and Tomas' most regular spot. It looks straight out of the 70's and we like it that way. The tables and chairs are a bright orange, and the atmosphere is an erroneous mish-mash of styles, the walls adorned with everything from a signed Bobby Orr photo to a Russian language map of Europe to a Garfield poster stating "I need less week and more weekend." It's comfy, it's casual and it always feels like home.

BREAKFAST SPECIAL:
3 eggs
bacon, ham or sausage
homefries
toast
coffee
$5,25+tx.

THE FOOD: A standard diner fare with nothing out of the ordinary persay. The catch is the simplicity and consistancy. It tastes great everytime, plain and simple.

THE PRICE: Once again, fairly standard and what you'd expect to pay at any greasy spoon. For an even $6 after tax you should be more than satisfied.

THE SERVICE: The sole server (of who's name we're still unsure of) makes you feel at home every time and I would even go as far as saying she makes you feel practically related. On top of that she's got a great memory and you don't really have to say much of anything to get what you want after a few goes. She's like you're buddies cool mom who makes you food, but also goes out of her way burn you in the process...plus she calls you things like "hun" and "babe", which I find particularly abating.

THE AMBIANCE: It can be a little bright at times, depending on the degree of alcohol consumption the prior evening, but that's my only vice. From the open-kitchen to the fact that it hasn't been updated in 30 years, it makes you feel at ease. There's always good vibes and everybody seem's to be joking around. Customer (to server): "You're using my broom!" Server (to customer): "Big Deal! Ride it!"

All in all, "Let's head to Pete's" is an extremely common phrase around our place when it comes to breakfast. Pete's is choice and I would highly recommend giving it a go if you find yourself on the west end.

2007-05-24T10:41:00.000-07:00

PADDINGTON'S PUMP (91 Front St. E.)

THE BAND: Chris, Ryan, Emmy & Rocio

RATINGS:
FOOD: 3
PRICE: 3
SERVICE: 4
AMBIANCE: 3+

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: YES
LICENSED: YES (full bar)
HP SAUCE: YES
PATIO: NO
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

So there's this little place tucked inside the St. Lawrence Market (the old stompin' ground) that took me a move to the opposite side of town to eventually visit. The name is Paddington's Pump and it's a cozy little bar and restaurant that can be accessed by both the street and the market. If you find yourself in the mood to sip a caesar, gorge on bacon and eggs and pick up some caribbean jerk sausages all in the same place, this is the spot for you. The meal I went with this time around was dubbed the French Connection...

THE FRENCH CONNECTION:
2 eggs
2 toast
2 strips of bacon
2 sausage
2 french toast
homefries and a slice of tomato
$7.20+tx.

THE FOOD: It wasn't the best breakfast I've ever had, but was far from the worst. All in all, it was fairly generic and for the most part what you'd expect from a pub breakfast. Quantity-wise, you'd be lucky to finish it, god knows I couldn't.
Rocio Side-Note: The hollandaise was too tart and the benny was smothered beyond repair.

THE PRICE: Nothing to really complain about here. At $7.20 each for the big boys (the French Connection and Grand Slam), you're looking at more food than you'll know what to do with. As far as the basic 3 eggs & bacon goes, the $5.55 price-tag isn't the cheapest i've ever seen, but is also far from expensive and more than reasonable. All together, not a single breakfast on the menu will force you to break more than a John A.

THE SERVICE: Great as always. Breakfast served with a little Spanish flair. Very courteous, quick on the refills and even asked if Rocio wanted the her Benny soft, medium or hard. Did manage to forget my water, but water's overrated as it is.

THE AMBIANCE: It's a pub, plain and simple. Lit by bar lights and and the tv in the corner. Dim and cozy, which is usually what I'm looking for after a night of hard drinking at 804.

Overall, this place is definately a hangover hideout. It's dimly lit, serves mass quantities of greasy grub and starts slingin' caesars at 11 o'clock. If you're looking for amazing food there's definately better joints in the immediate area, but hey, you can mow down and take care of all your grocery shopping needs without having to step outside.

2007-05-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

CAFÉ OLÉ (3466 Dundas St. W.)

THE ORIGINATORS: Chris & Tomas

RATINGS:
FOOD: 1
PRICE: 4
SERVICE: 1
AMBIANCE: 2

ALL-DAY BREAKFAST: YES (special before 11)
COFFEE/ESPRESSO BAR: NO
COFFEE INCLUDED: NO
FREE REFILLS: NO
LICENSED: YES (full bar)
HP SAUCE: NO
PATIO: YES
BOOTHS: NO
OPEN-KITCHEN: NO

Tomas and I were rolling down Gasoline Alley one day and noticed a sign advertising "$2.99 BREAKFAST BEFORE 11". Being it was nearing noon, we noted this ad and continued on our way. Fast forward a couple of weeks later and here we find ourselves. Café Olé is a quaint little neighborhood bar & grill situated smack dab in the middle of nowhere on one of Toronto's ugliest strips. Being the open-minded breakfast connoisseurs that we are, we thought, "fuck standards", lets give this one a try.

BREAKFAST SPECIAL:
3 eggs
bacon or sausage
toast
$2.99+tx. (with the purchase of a beverage)
Add:
hashbrown (.99)
sausage (.50)
bacon (.99)
toast (.99)
tomato (.99)

THE FOOD: Sub-par. Pictured above is Tomas' basic bacon & egg special. It's as simple as that, 3 eggs (of which 2 of mine were broken), 2 strips of bacon and 2 slices of toast.
The catch at Olé is the extras. For not more than $1 a piece, one can add a hashbrown (store bought frozen style a la McDonalds), sausage (x2), bacon (x3), toast or a tomato.
In the end, to put together a satisfying breaky, you end up paying quite a bit more than the advertised price.

THE PRICE: No complaints here. Not only is it $2.99 ($3.99 after the necessary coffee), but extras are dirt cheap and for $6-8 you may not be looking at the best tasting breakfast, but it'll definately be a filling start to your day.

THE SERVICE: Pretty much non-existent and her name was Linda (according to the empty tip jar). We found ourselves ordering at the cash, our coffee and water was served in styrofoam cups and when breakfast was ready, Linda yelled across the bar "Your breakfast's ready!" rather than walking it the whole 20 feet across the room to bring it to us.

THE AMBIANCE: The patio is small, but it's a nice option that isn't offered at many breakfast joints and one that earned this place it's rating. The view isn't the best, being situated in a strip mall and staring out at gas stations as far as the eye can see. The interior is big and empty and looks more like a clubhouse style bar than anything else. All in all, I was just happy to be sitting outside.

Overall, there's nothing particularly special about Olé's breakfast aside from the initial price tag. I will say it could be worse, but it's not a place I would recommend unless you're dirt broke and not too picky.